A tempered breath of fresh air

Yeah, the election is over and I think we can all breathe a little easier,(yeah I know not everyone, some are choking) through some rose colored glasses maybe, and with a small dose of hope, but maybe just a little. It's funny how I had hoped that if the decision went the way those of us in the non incumbent party wanted that it would feel as though the sun came out and the clouds parted and fifty stupid and overused metaphors that come to mind, and we could again just breath a little, And thankfully it does feel that way to a certain extent. I am writing this outside on November 9th, wearing shorts and a short sleeve shirt and feeling warm, not a cloud in the sky, people(yes I know, not all) at least for a minute just feeling as though a weight was lifted and not even looking at CNN.

To some extent I hate to feel not able to breathe, as I think many people do. There is and has been so much bad in a global sense happening the last few months, god 8 now, that it almost seems as though it is never ending. We get a small opening only to have it shut down again, we see a light at the end of the tunnel close up. It just gets old So being on the left side of the aisle, the election results just opened up a feeing of at least in that sense, relief. To not have to wake up every day and roll my eyes at what the tweet of the day is is a relief, let alone so much of the just rank hostility that existed between so many of us. I have some small degree of hope that it will last, that come January and February, tensions will subside even if I know they will not end, and maybe we can all just sit back and not just always feel so utterly exhausted.

But tempered? Well because you wake up and things jolt your back to reality. A friend's father "this close" to being put on a ventilator, more businesses shut down, ones you did not think about until you drove by them, a shortage of frozen food(not even good ones, I mean for god's sake who is eating Encore frozen salisbury steak?) 6000 cases on friday in Michigan, who are these people and why are they going to parties? Some people's anxiety gets so off the charts that it is like talking to someone who just has a lost grip on reality. There is a fine line between caution and overkill, even in the face of certain death. The question that I have and most people is where is that fine line? I find for myself that there just comes a time that is overwhelmed by having to deal with other people's anxieties, to the point where you worry for your own well being. I mean how much can you cave into what other people are feeling when you also know that anything you say will simply result in being told you are wrong. Rationality often loses to fear, but when we try to be rational are we being wrong? I think we hate feeling this way, hate feeling sorry for someone or some people who are coping superficially but when you are close to them you see they are not, and how much it can slowly destroy you or people close to you in the process.

And sometimes you just get tired of it all and want to run away, but also know that is just not possible. First, where the hell do you go realistically? And then you leave behind obligations that cannot be left behind. Family obligations that maybe you overstate their importance to but are still important. Concerns over leaving one family member for more than a few days with another who simply isn't coping well, in some sense you just wait for a phone call.... I think we all, and me to a greater extent I know the freedom to just be yourself and do what you want to, not being irresponsible, but being a little bit impulsive.

But what do I know?