Doing nothing and the thoughts that come from that -Scott Sitner-Birmingham MI

By:  Scott Sitner-Birmingham Michigan

So home for a month with so much to do and so little to do, so I have compiled a stupid list of things to do when you have nothing to do and some things that seemed like a good idea to do then became sort of a waste of time, in no particular order:

1)  Realize that your 21 year old daughter is not nearly as happy to be home as you are happy to have her at home. Realize that she needs space and at college she survived just as well without you.  Learn to back off and stop asking "what can I get for you?"  Accept she is an adult and make sure she has food, shelter, money and a car and just let things roll as best you can. And be glad when she says "we have really been doing ok" Then quickly leave.

2)     Cleaning your disgusting basement is a good thing, sort of cathartic.  Realizing that one of the cats has been peeing on a bag of someone's shoes, not so much.  Time to give away all of the rest of the 19 bags of clothing you have been hoarding, not even a bad word, for the last three years.  And get rid of that mattress no one will ever use, it's sort of gross

3)     Think long and hard about ordering carry out from the Capital Grille(capitalgrille.com) or insert name of other fancy restaurant.  It just doesn't work.  I like steak as much as anyone, but really, by the time it gets home it's cold, you re heat it and it is well done.  That being said the veggies and potatoes stay remarkably tasty, as does the shrimp cocktail, but really, 45 dollars plus tax and tip for ten shrimp suddenly seems less special when you eat them on your couch and the cat samples the sauce.

4)  Realize that this is just a totally bizarre time, that you will in fact break the law by going to a friend's house, being a rebel can by fun.  Realize that you do not really need to go to the grocery store when the shut down is announced, that in fact there is and will be food.  Maybe not toilet paper and paper towels, but we can always improvise can't we?

4.5) Realize that losing a third of your income can be a good thing because now you feel like a member of the club, and really don't we all just want to belong?

5)  Your kid really doesn't appreciate your sparkling wit about her boyfriend as much as you think.  Remember that when being told for the tenth time.

6)  It's ok to not want to be with someone all the time, it's ok to wish you had a stupid big house and could hide in one of the wings with the staff and your own fridge.  These times can wreck people so be aware of that. However holidays are different, we did a Zoom passover seder, except for the fact I had to watch my mother not realize she was on camera and look just a little too closely at her iPad, (and man is my dad older) it was good to have holiday with people you like and love even if you it was also sort of funny, and realize it really does mean something.

7)  Bide your time, find activities, try not to watch the news and rising death count every day, it doesn't help.  Contact your other child who did not come home, annoy her.

8)  Be equal parts grateful and sad your parents can't come back from Florida.  I know it's hot there, and it's snowing here, lesser of two evils?  The grass is always greener, which it never really is but that's a whole different issue.  But really as little as there may be to do in florida, you can walk on a beach, hit a few balls, go in the pool, sit on the balcony.  As I sit and write this, it's snowing. All realize that their reality is different and just not get too uptight about it.

Lastly, just accept what is happening, be depressed sometimes, be annoyed, try and laugh and realize that as with anything bad or unpleasant or annoying, it will in fact get better.  Someday.  As I look at my sad lonely golf clubs in my front hall

scott sitner-April 2020

Birmingham MI